he starts his prayer
before devouring his eight plates of sushi
as i match him– with my measly four
he starts his prayer
with thanking God
for getting “to do life with” me.
& i smile
with my eyes closed
& squeeze his hand a little tighter
because that’s the prayer i say
before i fall asleep.
before the asks,
for keeping him healthy
& happy
& safe.
they say God hears consistency
if that is true
then your name
must be the most prominent thing
God has heard from me
in years.
i am far from a good christian
i still feel weird about stating a religious preference
because religions get a bad rap
& their followers are the worst.
i hold the agnostic card in my back pocket when im cornered
to play neutral when questions get too tough
& prayers get too touchy feely
as I gaze at my meal with head bowed.
but once i met you
something changed
as cliche & cheesy as that sounds.
maybe it was timing
i reached a point where agnosticism wasnt giving me enough
at the end of the day
maybe you can call that His work
or atheists call it luck
but something changed
& theres a yearning
a craving
for more.
im not wholly convinced yet
but its a start.
with the questions
& the discussions
& the links to video sermons
that make me feel a little less lost.
& maybe the intent has other motives
but isnt that the covert way He makes things work sometimes?
i cant speak for anyone else’s plan but my own
so for right now,
hearing you talk
about living a righteous life
is enough.
earthtomars 