The First Blueprint

i take the first time frame
the loosely sketched map
the outlines of a blueprint
fold it up neatly
& place it in my back pocket
i try not to think on it
to dwell on the knowledge that its there
drafted up in all its giddy hope
& astronomical projection
i have to believe that that’s all it was
drunk on future talk
& wide-eyed optimism

To write out something so far from the truth
of how you operate
of how time chases us
with no pause for respite
of how jarring it would be for me to trust
a document
a pact
of our commitment
by solidifying dates
& co-signed
intertwined
forevers

No.
a wise person looks at patterns
not promises
& so for my own self preservation
as well as yours
i must tuck it away
with loving care
in order to not care
so much
when it doesn’t come true.