new playlist love
i hope you enjoy this as much as i do
new playlist love
i hope you enjoy this as much as i do
“you are comprised of contradictions,” he says
& i cant help feeling like you generalized,
all that makes me.. me.
brushed aside like the Saturday crossword puzzle,
after only filling in 40 down & 32 across
too much hassle you grumble
why do i feel like the facets
that create the multitude of complex,
[dare i say alluring?]
are the best part?
[should be the best part..]
for they’re carved of flaws
& dislikes, & likes
the love of beaches, but distrust of the ocean
the claustrophobia felt from sunday morning costco shoppers, but love of concerts
& so on, & so forth
maybe to make sense to another being,
Because after a bottle of wine, & b.friends addiction to WoW, nothing else seemed inspiring enough to work with.. except mrs. doubtfire.
… its a start.
On the daily, i try to wear as little makeup as possible. i work 5-6 days a week as a server, which anyone in the food industry can tell you, can be quite intense and physically taxing on your body. On top of that, the particular restaurant i work at is a hot pot style restaurant, where servers teach customers how to cook their food over burners that are steaming hot broth. The oils from the soup, mixed with the natural sweat i produce from running around the restaurant during peak hours, tends to take its toll on my complexion. I used to be a firm believer in not leaving the house without eyeliner, brows, and mascara, but I have found that i prefer a natural look while serving, so that when i do want to dress up for date night or other things, the impact of my efforts is greater. Besides, i’d like to think customers at this job appreciate me for how friendly the service is, & not how well i apply my makeup.
The 1-2 shifts i work at my other job, a small local boutique, affords me the chance to “look pretty” without worrying about sweat/steam running my mascara.
These are the handful of products i wear on the daily, that have made the cut via trial and error:
– Benefit Cosmetics “The POREfessional” ($10-$31)
– Make Up Forever “Duo Mat Powder Foundation” in shade 207 ($34)
– Maybelline “The Falsies Volum’ Express Waterproof Mascara” in very black ($6)
– Maybelline “The Colossal Volum’ Express Waterproof Mascara” in classic black ($5)
– Swissco “Electroplated Eyelash Curler” ($5)
– Anastasia Beverly Hills “Brow Wiz” in caramel ($21)
– Anastasia Beverly Hills “Brush #12” ($18)
– Anastasia Beverly Hills “DIPBROW Pomade” in dark brown ($18)
– NYX “Eyebrow Gel” in brunette ($15.50)
– the POREfessional is an extra step i take if i have the time, & if im feeling extra self-conscious about my skin that day. it’s lightweight, & makes it appear like i spent a lot more time on myself than i really did
– my duo mat powder foundation is something i use only on my t-zone which gets excessively oily/shiny throughout the day without it (even with it, i still need to blot with oil papers to avoid looking greasy)
– after gently curling my lashes with my electroplated eyelash curler — just a few squeezes & im good; i apply 2-3 coats of either the falsies or the colossal mascara (they both work wonderfully for me so i interchange them without any bias or favoritism). waterproof is a must for my job or else halfway through the night i have racoon eyes. even on a normal night out, just the sheer humidity of hawaii’s weather usually causes me to grab for my waterproof mascaras over any other.
**side note: i am a maybelline convert after using Urban Decay’s cannonball mascara. This raved about cult favorite just doesn’t seem to give my lashes the volume and lasting curl that my drugstore maybelline contenders do.
– so this part of my daily product list is still being fine-tuned because im undecided about what works best for me. i have a decent natural arch, and no obvious bald patches, so my biggest concern with my brows is keeping them neatly groomed, & matching my hair color
– usually i’ll reach for my dipbrow pomade & apply that with the brush #12, using the brush side to apply the product (more towards the tips and lining the arch top & bottom) & the spooly side to brush any flyaway hairs & distribute the product evenly
– sometimes if i have more time i’ll go through first with the brow wiz to add some extra dimension since the colors do not match exactly
– i recently started using the eyebrow gel which is a much cheaper alternative to the pomade. the consistency is liquid, so its definitely more difficult to apply without going overboard but once you get the hang of it it works really well
– like the mascaras, what i love about these brow products is their staying power. after a double shift i dont have to worry about misshapen brows — they look just like how i applied them 10-12 hours prior
i hope this lengthy post proves to be beneficial in some way, if only to learn of the amazing staying power of some drugstore brands!
let’s be honest, since graduation there’s been nothing to compel me to break out my galkyd, brushes, primed canvases, and sit down to paint. there’s no pressing deadlines, the fear of harsh critiques, or anyone to demand something “less stylistic” this time, or “less melodramatic”.
i need to be my own motivation.
thus, trusty blog, you shall be my critic, mentor, & competition.
be patient, for i am ever so rusty..
“You have to be careful with your choosing. You can’t just keep passing up these good boys or eventually there won’t be any good boys around anymore.”
This was the warning to heed, when i broke up with the first boyfriend my family deeply approved of.. and it was repeated again when i left the second.
This cautionary mantra is made of the stuff that keeps me up at night,
tunneling holes in deep dark places,
& backtracking into well-worn spaces.
my mind creates a never-ending flow chart
which is ironic because of how many times i hit dead end answers.
Where do the good boys go?
Are they swept up by girls with plans,
& careers, that are just missing that one piece — there. a good boy. now it all fits.
& so what, if im fickle to a fault
& need more patience than most
is that to say i’ll be left with slim-pickings, or none at all?
If time works its inevitable magic
& i wrinkle, & age, & trade in my youth..
wouldn’t the boys i find then,
be more apt to deal with me?
less captivated by young finesse
& the body of a girl not ready to settle?
more dead ends.
i may be too optimistic,
but i’d like to believe that yes, the good will pass–
but will be replaced by something even better.
nice your pictures.
it’s become a game.
the more often i am pointed
about the obvious
the more you refuse to give me what’s obvious
to make a point.
We exchanged words we didn’t mean,
& are avoiding the potholes that we’ve come to memorize where they are in the winding lines of thought & conversation
oh, steer clear of that one.
But if you took those mini mementos out of hiding
& exposed them to daylight again
then maybe we could begin to string together
what we’ve learned to dodge
in safe light keeping.
oh, we’re clear in that one!
something even grainy,
poorly lit Polaroids
can’t help but capture.
I never understood
how you could cork it
set it on the shelf
and save it to be savored at a later date.
“Maturing with age,” you said.
“Better with time,” you said.
simply a harvest year
when all the good was plucked,
reassuring me this process ensured a culmination of all our best flavors.
& all i can do is wait
reminiscing on the sweet summer
my only saving grace infused with all those tangible memories
kept safe within those thick tinted walls.
How i wish i could taste it again
because the only palpable flavor i have left is bitterness
caused by you insisting,
“Maybe later, the timing just isn’t right.”