chicken coup

he wants chickens.
he happily recites facts he’s read
about how self-sustainable they are
& shares his plans of a coop in the backyard
& a compost pile
that our kids will tend to.

he delicately asks
how i want the eventual chicken deaths
to be handled
because they dont live very long
& he embraces the extra-sensitive animal lover in me.

he makes plans
how ever small chickens seem
in the grand scheme of life.
he sees fresh farmed eggs
in our future
so despite any doubts i have
about our compatibility as housemates
they must be insignificant enough
for him to still see us caring for chickens.

sign reading

me, in my white gown
beside myself with excitement
to reveal myself,
to give myself away to you
for the first & last time.

you, in your black & white
consumed by distraction
that will ruin the vision,
sets a precedence for our future.
an iPhone game captivates you
more than i ever will.

when i peruse through “first look” wedding day photos,
this is what i see of our own.
i play it over & over in my head
& know i am nullified.
i ask myself why,
if that’s what the cards hold,
im still here.