the grass is always greener
but here goes anyway
lets covet the grass
that makes up the lawn
in front of the house
we never owned.
i think i could stomach it more
if you were discrete
if it was unseen
sneaky & calculated
to ensure the ultimate deception.
because at least then there’s a trace of respect you have for me.
for fear of ever having been found out.
i can work with unknowns.
exes ive only seen in scrolled through instagram photos
or girls you once sparked with in tagged facebook meme posts
because they dont threaten my present
theyre distant. cordial but not overtly friendly.
& even if they’re not,
you lie well enough to keep my gut from churning
when you mention them in passing.
but this, is different.
its always been my Achilles heel.
obscenely flaunting it
with no discretion
under the pretense of friends.
because crudely calling yourselves that makes it ok to the public,
& nothing to hide or be ashamed of.
i wish i was dumb enough to believe it.
is it so wrong,
to want to be with you
because to see you with her–
correction: to see you try for her
after what we had
makes me insignificant
a place holder.