i dedicate so much time
so much energy
to reasoning with the unreasonable.
but she cheats
& parties all night
& cuts corners
& is lazy
& skates by on her looks
& has no drive or motivation to be more
everything you steer clear of when you list your needs in a partner
— everything you’d despise if it were me.
maybe when she grows up a little
what is it about her that would even give credence to hoping for a grown up version of that?
lets just overhaul the battery
& the steering
& the engine
but keep the car.
because its worth holding out for.
sometimes i wish i could pull a Topanga.
let Corey fulfill his “what if”
& then maybe finally you’ll see
you only desired it because it was forbidden
& actually there really is nothing beneath the surface
a shallow spritz of Victorias Secret “Love Potion”
instead of complicated subtleties with overlapping notes
you’ll tire of the banter,
because as you push your wit
there’s no push-back beyond the first counter attack
& you like her mischievous grin
up until you realize she’s only grinning
because she has no clue about what’s going on
i want it to get old.
so we can grow old.. together.
but ive always been afraid
of placing too big a bet
for too risky a payout
id settle for breaking even
as opposed to losing it all
for a slim chance of playing my hand right
& here i am dedicating way too much time
reasoning with the unreasonable.