so what.. you have a significant other?
yup, yup, that i do. we’ve been together since before this whole job transition
oh yeah? & how’s that going for you? you folks good?
yeah! yeah its good!
you do realize your voice went up about two octaves right there right?
yeah.. im trying to work on that.

sometimes i wish lying to myself came easier
so lying to others would be a piece of cake.

it probably doesn’t bode well for us,
if im excited to see you leave for two weeks
so that i may enjoy my time to myself

not to philander & experiment
but to indulge in a schedule not based around someone other than mine for a change
to fall asleep stretched out in my own bed & not be scolded for extending over “my half”
to hang out with my brothers, reveling in drunken karaoke, & not feel guilty or ashamed for having “unusual” pasttimes

maybe i just dont like to share
maybe i just dont like not having control
maybe i just need to follow this urge
to see if my own extended vacation
from you
is best for both of us.

i was your first
so its understandable
that mistakes were made
i’ll be the first to admit that.

but here is what you should know
for the next one who you let in:

1. don’t grip so hard
2. words are cheap. use your actions.
3. sometimes a bad day is just that. don’t take her misfortunes to be caused by you. (unless they are: in that case.. refer to tip #2)
4. a good listener > a good cheerleader

i saw a guy in scrubs waiting at the stop light
& i wondered,
had you not been denied residency here,
whether that would be you,
waiting to cross the street
hurrying home to cook me quinoa kimchi fried rice
& a big bowl of salad (extra croutons).
id have a to go container of broth from work,
because all you need for sustenance is soup,
shave ice,
& a smile from yours truly.

how different it would be,
how distant we’d be
to the idea of distance.
funny, huh?

how little translates.
note to both:
if ever
be better
next time.

the funny thing about speculating about others’ relationships
is how much it really reveals about your own.

what’s that? he’s not ambitious enough for her?
& misaligned life goals is a deal breaker?

but to admit we see ourselves in their predicament
is to admit we’re just as helpless
& lost
& trapped as they are.
instead we act as impartial observers
secretly hoping that we wont meet their same demise

end count.

1. there is nothing more frustrating than being tasked to teach someone, who refuses to learn.
2. i feel like ive forsaken my team in pursuit of a career.. & i hate that that is the sacrifice i need to make in order to be happy. because really. i couldnt be doing these kinds of hours, with this pay, & this kind of nonexistent support well into my 30s.
3. “luck is the meeting of preparation & opportunity” — & I feel extremely lucky to be getting out when i am..
4. “in everything you do, do it with all your heart” & i intend to. i think this mentality is what’s opened so many doors for me, & has allowed me to be humble in times when arguments of entitlement are so often heard.
5. i am beyond excited to make a change.

animal farm

IMG_3765Animal Rights Commentary Diptych (only half shown here)
charcoal, pencil, chicken wire, tracing paper; 20″x40″

I figured i was overdue for another art post.  this was done in 2013 for a college art course, with the parameters being to do a piece on a political issue or current event.  i chose to focus on fast food chains & the unhealthy living conditions of the animals they use to supply them.  i liked playing with transparencies, textures, & most of all… animals.  :]  hope you like it

– mm.


work has consumed me.
i ache,
i am over extended,
i am spent.
a new challenge

but this is what i wanted.
i needed a change to shake me from my dormant slumber
i am a force to be reckoned with.
im just waiting for that moment of reckoning.
right now
the quiet judgment
& underestimating looks
are bearable.
because i know better.

because i can fix every problem you throw at me.
just try.